Warning: Personal post ahead. Proceed at your own risk.
Everyone wants to find love, right? I’m talking raw, real, unencumbered love. To find the one who knows you inside and out, perhaps better than you know yourself. Who not only respects your flaws, but embraces them. Who doesn’t give up when the going gets tough. And makes it feel like nothing else in the world matters when you are together.
Why? Because love is an experience unlike any other. It makes us feel alive, our every sense is heightened, each emotion magnified. It’s the best high I can imagine.
But opening your heart to leave yourself vulnerable is risky. When I fell, I fell hard. From our first date, the questions he asked intrigued me. They were much deeper than surface level and only intensified as our relationship progressed. We were polar opposites. He was the laid back to my Type A. The introvert to my social. The nerd to my normal. But that’s why we worked. He kept things exciting. He was quirky and awkward, everything I adored. The one who made me laugh, the one who made me cry. My adventure buddy, my secret keeper, my toughest critic, and most importantly, my best friend.
I’ve never understood the term soulmate. There are 7 billion people in this world. Let’s be realistic, how could there possibly be “the one” perfectly suited for each person? But I could see forever with this one.
So when Mr. Perfect turned out to be Mr. Not So Perfect, I had to take a step back and realize he wasn’t the man of my dreams I had made him out to be. There is a reason we weren’t fit for each other, as hard as it is to see in the present. I knew what I deserved. I was challenging. I was frustrating. I was strong. And I was real.
I will take partial blame for our downfall. We started dating shortly after I returned from two years abroad when I had no job and no friends to keep me busy. It became unhealthy and put a lot of pressure on our relationship. When I suddenly lost him, it was more than a romantic interest, but someone who’d become my everything. I relied on him for my happiness and once again failed at being alone. Heartbreak hurts. It took a while to realize I couldn’t convince him to feel something that he didn’t. But one thing I refused to do was sit around and sulk. I instantly bounced back, made a slew of girlfriends and had a new job in the works within our first week apart. My world won’t stop spinning because he wan’t man enough to handle me.
I don’t want someone who lets me win but someone who realizes I’m worth the fight. I’m not looking for someone to clean up my chaos, but to appreciate my beautiful mess. I need a partner in crime that can join me in my crazy lifestyle, unafraid to take that journey and leap of faith with me.
I am learning to embrace every failure as an opportunity and lesson learned. Every relationship as an experiment, bringing me one step closer to true, passionate love. Learning what I want out of a partner, and what deal breakers are, creating a mental checklist for the future. Why should a relationship mean settling down? In love, you deserve somebody who betters you. Somebody who inspires and encourages you, who drives you towards dreams and goals. Who challenges you to grow into your very best self.
You deserve a love that isn’t easy or perfect, yet you grow through your battles and learn to brave them together. You deserve a passion that awakens your inner being, breathing life into the depths of your soul and renewing your faith in happily ever afters. Someone spontaneous you can get lost in the world with. A relationship with the right person should be a release, not a restriction.
I hope you find someone who is brave enough to enter your storm, and respects you enough to love the size of your waves. I hope you find someone who will relish the calm you can have, and who is eager to set sail on the expanse of your mind. I hope you find someone that can’t escape the love they have for you, because now they have you in their very blood, always reminding them that you are the only sea worth exploring. One day, your heart will learn to fly again, and you will see such beautiful things. I hope you have the patience to wait for that day, to know that the lonely hours are not spent in vain, but that you are just slowly gaining the strength and courage to use your wings again. ~ TB LaBerge
The truth is, there are far too many things we settle for in life: the sub-par job in the ideal city, the cheaper yet practical dress, the healthier but blander meal. Love should never be one of these. Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time.