You may be able to replace the word “anxiety” with “addiction” and understand another mental illness.
This blunt response to my anxiety story was hard to digest, coming from my own mother. She’s been trying to help me understand my little brothers’ addiction for years. I am now realizing that I too have a problem which stems from my anxiety.For me, with anything in life, it’s all or nothing; a very black or white mentality. I have never touched drugs per se, but was born with an extremely addictive personality. And I don’t feel like I’ve ever given the full picture of my disordered drinking to anyone in my life. For vulnerability and admitting you have a problem is a scary thing.
I drink when I’m happy, I drink when I’m sad. I drink when I’m celebrating, I drink when I’m stressed. I drink for dates, I drink when I’m anxious, I drink when I’m homesick, I drink just to drink. And once I start, I don’t know how to stop. Next thing I know, that bottle of vino is gone.With alcohol I’ve found you can displace yourself from the harsh realities of every day life. But “taking the edge off” is only a temporary fix. And the more I drink, the worse I inevitably feel the next day.
Over the past few months in Australia, I have indulged in alcohol more than I did in my first year of college. It has gotten to an unsustainable level now that I am working full time. Going on meaningless dates, making stupid decisions that land me in the emergency room, binge eating, making scenes in public, the list goes on. I feel downright unhealthy.But it’s not enough to admit you have a problem, you have to be willing to make a concrete change!
One of the primary differences between alcoholics and nonalcoholics is that nonalcoholics change their behavior to meet their goals and alcoholics change their goals to meet their behaviors.”
― Alcoholics Anonymous
For the month of Feburary I have decided to give up both alcohol and dating apps, my unhealthy answers to when I’m feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or lonely. As an extremely social person, this will be quite a challenge to undertake in my last month in Australia (and of summer!)I feel I am not the best version of myself lately, and need to recharge to feel healthier both mentally and physically. Drinking in excess is unhealthy and I realize, it’s time for a change. There are a plethora of healthier alternatives out there to relieve my stress. I plan to turn to yoga or tennis when I get that inevitable craving for a glass of vino.
I’m taking a pause for a cause this February to enjoy not only 28 days of a healthier me, but all in the name of a cause near to my heart. Coming from a family where addiction is prevalent, I am commiting to an alohol detox. Resisting my own cravings is a tiny insight into what people with serious addiction issues go through every day. From mental health and substance misuse to homelessness, trauma and domestic violence, Febfast helps young people regain control of their lives.
I would be honored to have your support my cause and reach my goal of $500! With any $10 or more donation this month, I am offering a FREE “Across the Ocean” ad space using code FEBFAST. That’s a $20 value!
Catch me sipping on a soda water and lime at a local bar near you!