Oh boy, has today been one for the books. I could cry as I’m writing this. Jury duty was pure torture.
I tried to get my mom to call in and tell them I’d already left for Australia, but no dice. “Who knows Shane, it could be fun! Maybe you’ll get an interesting murder case” Can always count on her to look on the bright side. Yet in her 50 years of living, she’s never been summoned.
As I head in at the early hour of 7:30am (mind you, my college brain was not ready for this wakeup call), the first song on the radio so happens to be “Best Day of Your Life” Irony at it’s finest?
I arrive to the courthouse with a red solo cup of coffee because that’s all the boy had in his apartment. Of course it gets confiscated before I go through security. #college
My hopes are high that my oversized leapord bag, yoga pants chipped nails, drab face, and greasy hair won’t suffice as “business casual” and I will be quickly dismissed. Close, but no cigar.
I sit smack dab between a 39 week pregnant woman smuggling a beach ball and an elderly woman in a wheelchair and realize I have no room to complain. They tell the poor prego that if she postpones until after she has the baby she will have to bring the newborn to court with her and will not be able to breastfeed but instead will have to pump prior to. She expresses her discomfort but they could give two sh*ts.
I begin brainstorming excuses to make me appear undesirable and get out of duty…IBS which will require me to leave the courtroom frequently? Mentally insane? Headed to Australia tomorrow? I’m an expert on the case? No need to lie, just play up certain aspects of your personality!
Orientation time…1.5 hours. Need. coffee. Get coffee. Need to pee.
Shoulda brought my flask…
I’m the youngest one in this entire room. All the retired folk are excited to spice up their life by doing something other than bingo and gardening. Words such as “enlightening” and “educational” thrown around. Puke. I thought I was done learning for a while.
Freaking out that I have “work” to do on Friday. Aka, blogging duties. I consider this my business.
“How many of you believe in trial by jury by a show of hands?…until you got a summons in the mail” *Chuckles* Bleh bleh, how lucky we are to live in USA where a democracy is possible.
“We’re very used to dealing with grumpy people who don’t want to be here..we’ve heard every excuse under the sun. Best one- a letter from a 4th grade teacher and her 25 students on how they needed her for prep for the standardized tests. Creative. Rejected.”
Thank goodness this is a 4 day week…God bless ‘Merica
I shoulda eaten brekkie…when’s lunch? Why don’t they feed us?
A whole $20 paid for an 8-9 hour day after paying $10 for parking…how generous of them…
Guy beside me taking a snooze…I’m about to join him…
“We’ve all been around the courthouse a time or two” Kinky
Googles excuses for tomorrow. I could be sleeping right now. Or sunbathing. Or watching grass grow. People actually want to be here? #killmenow
“Prejudices should be parked where you left your car when you enter court” “Voir dire…speak the truth…personal opinions, biases, experiences..or you shall be excused” Challenge accepted!
So what happens if I play hooky tomorrow? Should I postpone? Then I’ll be put back into the eligibility pool.
“If your name is called please proceed to the front…Bob, Sue Mary….and Shane” Darn.
Humans are imperfect beings so there will never be a truly impartial jury. But 24 eyes and ears are far better than two. All I can think is opinions are like a**holes, everybody has one.
I don’t understand the people given every opportunity in the world to get out based on bias, yet remain impartial. I see only in black and white. There’s no grey area for me.
Finally after a long days work of doing nothing, I can leave. Takes me 45 minutes to find my car in the three available parking lots. Go to Time Warner to turn in my cable box from college and they refuse to take it since I’m not in the same town. I throw a fit and get my way. Get home, burglary alarm goes off. Mom changed the code since I’ve been home, so I’m screwed.
When all else fails…maybe you want to fulfill your role as a model citizen and serve as juror.
BRING CRAP TO DO! Odds are, you’ll be sitting in a back room waiting to be summoned with a hundred other frustrated souls. To avoid being a stress ball like me, before going to trial, inquire about where to park, where to eat, how to check in. Arrive well-rested, with a clear mind so you don’t unintentionally snap at the other jurors.
On a serious note, although jury duty can be an inconvenience, I understand it is a fundamental part of a democracy. And like every citizen in an election, you should exercise your right as a juror and remember that your judgement is just as important as anyone else’s. So do what you’ve got to do and make the best of it — it could even turn out to be more interesting than you thought.
I’ve honestly never been more frustrated in my life.
Hook me up with a glass or 5 of vino. Send prayers & warm wishes my way for tomorrow!